Monday, August 16, 2010
A Balance
I am looking for a full-time job right now, and in the process I have found that I am terrified of full-time work. I got sick right before going in to apply for a full-time job and every think pointed to the fact that I am terrified. I just can't let go the control and give my time to a company like that. It seems so wrong and I hate being somewhere that I don't want to be. I also hate missing time from spending with my family and friends and boyfriend/roommate. I just want a balance between love and work. Please help me find this today.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
If Work is Like Real Life, Then What is True?
I am more and more hating to be at work lately. I just don't know what it is, and yet I am still compelled to go and to show up for all of my shifts. I think I feel I have grown out of it, but still I am not willing to find another place to work, and I will come to work for all my shifts.
Today I learned that I am still working at this job because it is teaching me something about life. If fact, it is a lesson that I need to learn. I still remember talking to one of the managers and telling her that I wanted a job that was just during the day and mostly fun, but she replied "This is real life". And I was skeptical. But work is very hard.
A second thing I learned today is that according to a co-worker, I give her something that helps her in some way every time I am at work. So she has come to like me being with her because she anticipates something helpful happening when I am there.
This is interesting. I am looking for a new job, something that will fulfill me. I have yet to admit that work is hard, and I have yet to believe that I am really as helpful as this co-worker says. On top of this, I have been talking to another co-worker, and she wants to help me with my upcoming start-up project and has her own project that she needs help with. Hm, what am I getting from this experience?
I am learning about myself. I am seeing the grueling side of work. I might be able to embrace this side of it, eventually. What is work telling me that I need to learn right now? I am open to receiving this answer.
Today I learned that I am still working at this job because it is teaching me something about life. If fact, it is a lesson that I need to learn. I still remember talking to one of the managers and telling her that I wanted a job that was just during the day and mostly fun, but she replied "This is real life". And I was skeptical. But work is very hard.
A second thing I learned today is that according to a co-worker, I give her something that helps her in some way every time I am at work. So she has come to like me being with her because she anticipates something helpful happening when I am there.
This is interesting. I am looking for a new job, something that will fulfill me. I have yet to admit that work is hard, and I have yet to believe that I am really as helpful as this co-worker says. On top of this, I have been talking to another co-worker, and she wants to help me with my upcoming start-up project and has her own project that she needs help with. Hm, what am I getting from this experience?
I am learning about myself. I am seeing the grueling side of work. I might be able to embrace this side of it, eventually. What is work telling me that I need to learn right now? I am open to receiving this answer.
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