I get more answers

Today has been a very trying day. Last night I meditated and thought about how I would make friends. At the same time, I was receiving multiple offers to hang out that I was turning down, for one reason or another, which is very unusual for me. I think I have realized that making friends last has to do with assuming that I can always make friends whenever I want. This allows me to be more resilient when presented with a plan that I am not really interested in or when I want to read quietly instead of going out. The best interactions I have are the ones that happen naturally, when I am not really trying to make plans. It just comes together. In the mean time, I get bored sometimes.

I also had a good business lunch with my fellow art class member, we are talking about starting our own business together with a few other people. We are making plans, but I am feeling very anxious. I still don't know what I am anxious over. I guess I will try to find answers about this problem.

Answers and more questions

Hello, so I received some answers from my last night's prayers. The first is that I myself am the only one who will always agree with me, and the fact that I still don't agree with my own self often tells me that I have a long way to go! Also, I received answers in a dream. I was in Costa Rica in a beautiful hotel. With old friends from high school, boys and girls. I could never talk to anyone and tried awkwardly to befriend these people whom I had never had much contact with. In the end, I am feeling alienated, and cannot decide which room to stay in. So finally in the dream I am attempting to win over two sisters who are very close in order to make one of them my own sister. I sing a duet by myself and hang it up on the wall, it resembles an art piece I have made recently. Then I wait for them to see it. I am nervous that they will think I am trying to make them like me already. Then I take a shower, and I use the shampoo of each sister, and try to decide which one I like better. Both bottles are colorful, one looks like the type of fish shape colorful bottle I used when I was a little girl. In fact, I used to sing when I was a little girl too, I wonder what happened to that? Then I find the art piece in the morning has changed, and I worry someone has removed it. But I see that a person putting up fliers was walking by and put a flier up. The girls now have no idea that I posted this mural up for them, i am very relieved. They DO notice however that I have used their shampoos, not that I am the person, but that someone has. They are curious and concerned.

I wonder why I try so hard to make friends with people who are so far in the past? I wonder why I can't relate to the little girls who are sisters. I wonder why I want to relate to them so much.

I gave away my guitar. I gave it away and then received 50 dollars. I didn't expect any money at all. But I was practicing the law of attraction, which states that anything I give, I will receive ten fold. I also decided to talk to God starting now, in these posts, as a prayer. I learned today that prayer is like talking to God and meditation is like listening, so I would like to work on my talking skills. I think I am good at listening already. Here it goes. The first post:

God, I am worried about the future. I worry that I won't get enough money in the future to stay alive. I am worried that I will risk starting my own business and fail. I worry that I am going to end up doing something I don't want to do. I want to try and make more friends. I need friends in my life. I want more constant contact. I am tired of being aloof. I want real friends, thought I am grateful for the friends I have already. I would still like a richer life with more money, more friends and more security. I would like to do a job that I love. I would like to be hiring people instead of working for someone else. I want people in my life who understand me, who get my spiritual nature, people who will talk with me and agree with me. I don't know if that is even possible. I want easy relationships. I want ALL of my relationships to be easy. I don't want a couple troubled relationships and a few easy relationships. I want a bunch of easy flowing relationships that cause me no trouble and benefit my life. I will post later on answers to these prayers gathered from meditation. Peace!