Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Maybe Guitar

If I ever start playing again, this song will be the first one I play

Friday, June 11, 2010

Today I'm Fine

Etched with marks, but I can deal
And you're the problem and you can't feel
Try this on, straightjacket feeling
That face is staring holes in me again
Take back now, my life you're stealing
Yesterday was hell
Today I'm fine without you

lyrics taken from All American Rejects

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I want to Live in a Dump

Isn't mess another form of creativity? I want to live in a place where I find new intriguing things all the time. Our cookie cutter furniture is not exciting, in Costco and I.K.E.A. I want to live in a world of my own, not a world created by some fabulous person. I want to create my world, not buy a world that is given over to me. I want what society cringes over.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Opening your Heart

It is so hard to open my heart to only one person, the pain and hurt never disappears from the past. The only weird thing is, I think I am learning how to love more than one person at once, because my first love was disappointing, then my second and third loves were both easier to take. However, with each love, my heart swelled to a larger capability of loving. I have learned that the only way to overcome pain and suffering is to move on with my life, and to keep everyone in my heart, because in the end, I cannot turn off love, but I can stop returning to my old life and move forward to my new life. I am committed to the person I am with now, and still deeply feel for my past relationships. It is hard to close off that feeling, especially when all of it is different. But now I am learning to commit. I am finding so many rewards with this new relationship. I still battle with lost loves from the past. I find it difficult to balance my feelings, but I can move forward better when I realize that love is not ever lost. It is only filled higher and higher in your heart, and if you pay attention to the feelings they will continue to help you grow. That is what I have found.