A Balance

I am looking for a full-time job right now, and in the process I have found that I am terrified of full-time work. I got sick right before going in to apply for a full-time job and every think pointed to the fact that I am terrified. I just can't let go the control and give my time to a company like that. It seems so wrong and I hate being somewhere that I don't want to be. I also hate missing time from spending with my family and friends and boyfriend/roommate. I just want a balance between love and work. Please help me find this today.