Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Winter Break

     There was one time when I felt truly safe and taken care of by God. This was a span of 3-4 weeks during my winter break in college. I decided not to go home after much internal debating, and instead set up places to stay based on the help of others. I went to a particular book store every once in a while, and certain books would jump out at me. I would read them and be completely inspired. I was pretty much alone the whole time, aside from chance coexisting with roommates along the way. I would drive in my car along the long winter roads, forged between the forest trees.
     I loved winter so much that I also stayed at Red Hook that summer. I rented out a room in a house, stayed there all by myself and walked to the organic food store where I worked in the morning. I house sat and did different odd jobs. I went to the video store and rentals would jump out at me just like with the books. I had no internet at the house so I would drive on to campus to go online. I would mostly watch movie and make collages at home. I relied heavily on others even though I was living alone. My friend let me use her car for a couple of weeks. I am not sure what had happened to mine. I would walk through the cemetery and give food donations at the church. Books would also jump out at me at the library.
     Then when the kids who lived there returned for the next school year, they helped me clean and pack up my stuff. I stayed there with them for a little bit. There was a giant picture of a wolf on the carpet in the living room and pictures of bats along the walls. The guy who stayed in my room was a musician. One girl was an artist (like me) and the other was into literature.
   When I returned to school, my friends were upset because they thought I had abandoned them. I hadn't returned their calls when they came back. I was so used to being alone. That next year there were a lot of changes for me. It was the first time I had experience natural changes and a lightening of my load.
    I have been inspired to capture that feeling of safety and comfort and inspiration.  I want to move towards that feeling again, and begin to capture it.


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