Hello, so I received some answers from my last night's prayers. The first is that I myself am the only one who will always agree with me, and the fact that I still don't agree with my own self often tells me that I have a long way to go! Also, I received answers in a dream. I was in Costa Rica in a beautiful hotel. With old friends from high school, boys and girls. I could never talk to anyone and tried awkwardly to befriend these people whom I had never had much contact with. In the end, I am feeling alienated, and cannot decide which room to stay in. So finally in the dream I am attempting to win over two sisters who are very close in order to make one of them my own sister. I sing a duet by myself and hang it up on the wall, it resembles an art piece I have made recently. Then I wait for them to see it. I am nervous that they will think I am trying to make them like me already. Then I take a shower, and I use the shampoo of each sister, and try to decide which one I like better. Both bottles are colorful, one looks like the type of fish shape colorful bottle I used when I was a little girl. In fact, I used to sing when I was a little girl too, I wonder what happened to that? Then I find the art piece in the morning has changed, and I worry someone has removed it. But I see that a person putting up fliers was walking by and put a flier up. The girls now have no idea that I posted this mural up for them, i am very relieved. They DO notice however that I have used their shampoos, not that I am the person, but that someone has. They are curious and concerned.
I wonder why I try so hard to make friends with people who are so far in the past? I wonder why I can't relate to the little girls who are sisters. I wonder why I want to relate to them so much.